Saturday, October 26, 2013

Thinking of my Nan... Happy Birthday Nanny Berl.

Today would have been my Nan's 73rd Birthday.  It's been 21 long years since my beautiful Nan grew her angel wings & was needed elsewhere & everyday I think of her & how different the family would be if she were still here. Nan or Nanny Beryl (Bubble or Nanny Berl) was the first person whose death made me realise we won't be here forever. It made me at 11 question everything I believed in & hate Cancer more than anything in the world. 

Yes, I had friends at school whose elderly Grandparents had died, but as a child you think, my family is young, they are going to be here for a long while yet. But that wasn't to be the case, because Nan died at 52... 52 is far too young! It is the age of my Mum now. This year really hit home, thinking of Mum at her age now no longer being here... Thinking of me, at my age now, without my Mum (as Mum was) was very hard to think about. 

We virtually lived at Nan's, Nan was with us all the time, we loved going to Nan's & Pop's place and would do so daily. Nan looked after us whilst Mum worked & because Nan didn't drive, Mum would take her grocery shopping with us every week. Such beautiful memories I have of Nan & will always hold dear. I remember their house more than my own growing up & I remember all the games she taught me, movies we watched and places we would go. 

One year Nan & Pop won a family holiday to Seaworld Nara Resort, they took my Mum, Brother & I along and we had the best time, we went on other holidays together to the Coast. Beautiful memories... 

I feel for my Pop, my heart breaks for him to lose the love of your life, your wife when you are 53, must feel like a lifetime of sadness & what ifs.. His house is filled with pictures of Nan & reminders of her such as soft toys, trinkets & even her dressing gown which made me cry to see hanging next to his after all these years. I never saw or heard Nan & Pop fight, never saw them say a harsh word to each other.. Just saw 2 people very much in love, enjoying life together, getting by & having a blast with friends & family. 

It breaks my heart that she didn't get to meet her third & final Grandchild, my cousin David. She loved us Grandkids so much, spoilt us absolutely rotten & I know she would be so proud of all of us today, all 3 of her Grandchildren & I so wish she could have been around to meet my kids, her Great Grandchildren as I know she would have adored them just the same. 

On my wedding day, I wore Nan's charm bracelet, I held the bible that she carried & I cried every time I looked at it cause I felt she was there... Sharing in my day & I wished she was there in person but knew she was there watching down over me. I have the charm bracelet in my jewellery box as a present on my 21st Birthday from my Pop, I take it out & look at it often as all the charms have a meaning & I remember playing with it on her arm & Mum and her collecting their charms together. 

Mum hasn't been the same since Nan died, Nan was a huge part of her & she lost a lot of her sparkle and security.. I guess her whole world changed.. Christmas' which were always spent together lost their sparkle, Mothers Day (which was the day they realised something wasn't quite right) never felt the same again & even Birthdays... I think Mum fearing each one that bought her closer to 52... Mum always said she was going to die at 51.. That she wouldn't live to see 52, but on October 6th this year she turned 52 and I drove home with her on the eve of her Birthday, late after a wedding  to make sure she made it to 52. She had me that worried.. 

Nan lived before computers, before fancy gadgets. Pop embraces all the new technology and I sometimes find it hard to think just how much things have changed since she passed. How the world was different... But how that we haven't changed, that we still miss her oh so much even though 21 long years have passed.  

Happy Birthday Nan.. I'm sure your partying up there with Great Nan, Grandad & every other special person who is no longer with us. Have a great big piece of cake & know we are all thinking of you on this day {and every other} I hope you loved your flowers that we chose for you.  xoxox 

Toowoomba Carnival of Flowers 2013

A little backdated but I never got around to showing you all the beautiful pictures I took at the Toowoomba Carnival of Flowers last month!  I used to live in Toowoomba for Uni, so iv got a bit of a soft spot for it.  Such a pretty town I often think of moving back there, but Hubby is of the impression that its too cold LOL. Oh well maybe one day... 

Linking up with Trish @ My Little Drummer Boys for Wordless Wednesday. Xx 

Monday, October 21, 2013

2 Weeks Flew By...

I love Term 4!  It just feels different. I find it hard to keep the momentum going as we near the end of the year & feel like slipping into holiday mode by mid November. Right now I'm still in full swing though & organised and raring to give term 4 our best shot! 

A short 8 week term, I only have Mr 2 & Mr 8 at home because its the other kids term to be with their Mum {we do 50/50 ~ term on/term off} 

Initially it felt strange after having them home & having such a busy house for 12 weeks and it's terrible to say, but obviously there is going to be lots of difference between 2 & 5 kids! Where I was running out of milk & bread last term,  I now find myself having to use it up quickly before it goes stale ~ I even had to throw 2 loaves of bread & a 1/2 full bottle of juice out in the first week back!  I made too much for dinner & would often take out too many plates, cups, spoons etcetera.. But now 2 weeks on, I have adjusted.. 

I felt at the end of last week that I'd FINALLY caught up with the washing & the housework from the holidays, just in time for our weekend that all the kids return! {we get every 2nd weekend Fri-Mon in our 'off term'} but the weekend went well & it was great being the 'fun' parent again, with less discipline to contend with and no school work/homework drama's. But geez the fighting, the bickering, the volume (my stepchildren are quite loud) & the difference in their personalities become apparent after they have been away. For example they are heavily reliant upon the TV & Technology & that drives me bonkers! Disconnect! & when we do ask them to tune out they look at us like we've grown another head! 

But all the differences & the chaos aside, when we get the kids every other weekend it's nice to spend some quality time with them. We usually do things like board games/movie nights, parks, the beach etc. This weekend we managed to squeeze in breakfast out both days, the park, the Zoo yesterday & today, being a pupil free day, Mr 13 and a friend went to the movies whilst Mr 2, Mr 8 & I headed to see Turbo & do the shopping. Miss 11 & Mr 10 had to go home because their weekend ends at school commencement Monday, whereas Mr 13 as he's getting older stays till Tuesday all year round. 

So tomorrow it goes back to our family of 4 agaib for 2 weeks, which is never really 4 because you are always thinking of the others, cleaning, ironing & buying/paying for them. So whilst they aren't here physically, they are always technically here. But I guess during this term it gives me the chance to get on too of things before they come back for the Christmas holidays. :)