Thinking of my Nan... Happy Birthday Nanny Berl.

Today would have been my Nan's 73rd Birthday.  It's been 21 long years since my beautiful Nan grew her angel wings & was needed elsewhere & everyday I think of her & how different the family would be if she were still here. Nan or Nanny Beryl (Bubble or Nanny Berl) was the first person whose death made me realise we won't be here forever. It made me at 11 question everything I believed in & hate Cancer more than anything in the world. 

Yes, I had friends at school whose elderly Grandparents had died, but as a child you think, my family is young, they are going to be here for a long while yet. But that wasn't to be the case, because Nan died at 52... 52 is far too young! It is the age of my Mum now. This year really hit home, thinking of Mum at her age now no longer being here... Thinking of me, at my age now, without my Mum (as Mum was) was very hard to think about. 

We virtually lived at Nan's, Nan was with us all the time, we loved going to Nan's & Pop's place and would do so daily. Nan looked after us whilst Mum worked & because Nan didn't drive, Mum would take her grocery shopping with us every week. Such beautiful memories I have of Nan & will always hold dear. I remember their house more than my own growing up & I remember all the games she taught me, movies we watched and places we would go. 

One year Nan & Pop won a family holiday to Seaworld Nara Resort, they took my Mum, Brother & I along and we had the best time, we went on other holidays together to the Coast. Beautiful memories... 

I feel for my Pop, my heart breaks for him to lose the love of your life, your wife when you are 53, must feel like a lifetime of sadness & what ifs.. His house is filled with pictures of Nan & reminders of her such as soft toys, trinkets & even her dressing gown which made me cry to see hanging next to his after all these years. I never saw or heard Nan & Pop fight, never saw them say a harsh word to each other.. Just saw 2 people very much in love, enjoying life together, getting by & having a blast with friends & family. 

It breaks my heart that she didn't get to meet her third & final Grandchild, my cousin David. She loved us Grandkids so much, spoilt us absolutely rotten & I know she would be so proud of all of us today, all 3 of her Grandchildren & I so wish she could have been around to meet my kids, her Great Grandchildren as I know she would have adored them just the same. 

On my wedding day, I wore Nan's charm bracelet, I held the bible that she carried & I cried every time I looked at it cause I felt she was there... Sharing in my day & I wished she was there in person but knew she was there watching down over me. I have the charm bracelet in my jewellery box as a present on my 21st Birthday from my Pop, I take it out & look at it often as all the charms have a meaning & I remember playing with it on her arm & Mum and her collecting their charms together. 

Mum hasn't been the same since Nan died, Nan was a huge part of her & she lost a lot of her sparkle and security.. I guess her whole world changed.. Christmas' which were always spent together lost their sparkle, Mothers Day (which was the day they realised something wasn't quite right) never felt the same again & even Birthdays... I think Mum fearing each one that bought her closer to 52... Mum always said she was going to die at 51.. That she wouldn't live to see 52, but on October 6th this year she turned 52 and I drove home with her on the eve of her Birthday, late after a wedding  to make sure she made it to 52. She had me that worried.. 

Nan lived before computers, before fancy gadgets. Pop embraces all the new technology and I sometimes find it hard to think just how much things have changed since she passed. How the world was different... But how that we haven't changed, that we still miss her oh so much even though 21 long years have passed.  

Happy Birthday Nan.. I'm sure your partying up there with Great Nan, Grandad & every other special person who is no longer with us. Have a great big piece of cake & know we are all thinking of you on this day {and every other} I hope you loved your flowers that we chose for you.  xoxox 

Happy 2nd Birthday

Today we celebrated our youngest Son, Charlie Oliver's 2nd Birthday.  I can hardly believe he is 2 already, the last couple of years have been so busy that Birthdays seem to come around so quickly & all the kids seem to be growing up daily right in front of our eyes! 

Dear Charlie, 

At 2 you are such an adventurer, a busy bee all day long. From the moment you wake, till the moment we finally manage to convince you to sleep at night you are on the go. You fill our days with laughter & love. Saying the funniest things with the cutest voice & always give out lots of free hugs & kisses to Daddy & I.  You can say lots of words now ~ your favourite being 'either' as in 'no bedtime either' or 'no breakkie time either'. You love to count to 16 & a little while ago you would count all day!  You also love to sing, you can sing the alphabet, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star & Banana's in Pyjama's which you sing every time you see stairs or we go up & down stairs. You also sing Rain Rain go away when it's raining ~ you make my heart melt with your cuteness. 

Your favourite ways to spend your day at the moment are playing Little People, playing 'car race' (because every car is a 'car race') and playing with your Duplo Lego. You love all your toys and play happily all day long. You hate to have to stop playing for lunch, dinner or the dreaded bedtime! 

You like to watch a little TV now, Nick Jnr just plays most of the day & your favourite shows that you stop to watch are Dora the Explorer, Team Umi Zoomi, Max & Ruby & Bubble Guppies. 

You love your food and try everything, but your favourite lately seems to be 'meat' followed by a close second, cheese. Lately you have gone off carrots & peas. 

2 weeks ago we bought your 'big boy' bed, a racing car bed. Or as you like to call it, your 'car race' bed. You have slept in it a few times now and love to play on it during the day. You love to rest the iPad on it & play Dora Apps or watch Masha & The Bear a Russian cartoon on You Tube. 

So our dear Little Charlie, we wish you a fun & fabulous birthday. We hope you enjoy your Birthday Day spent with Mummy & Daddy, opening pressies, playing with balloons & going to the shops to play on the playground. In the afternoon Grandma & Grandad joined us & we all ate Train Cake. 

We look forward to the exciting year ahead. 

Love 

Mummy & Daddy 

Happy Birthday to Me. Turning 32..

A birthday shot c/o Hubby :)

 

Yesterday I turned 32, I had a lovely day down the coast with my wonderful husband & children who treated me to a shopping expedition & an afternoon at the beach.. Very spoilt :) Theres just something so relaxing about an afternoon spent at the beach. The kids playing in the sand & paddling in the water, so peaceful. A lovely way to spend one's birthday..

Soaking up the Sunshine..

 

Having fun at the park @ Broadbeach GC

 

 

Our Little Water Baby

 

 

Heads down, bums up.. the boys loved playing in the sand & water

 

If I look at where I am today I am happy with my life in most respects. I have a wonderful husband, have 2 wonderful boys (and the honour of calling 3 others my own), my family is great (although we don't catch up often enough), we have a comfortable home & I'm fortunate enough to have a great career under my belt with teaching (even though I don't do much with it at present) So where I'm sitting at 32 is pretty comfortable.

So furthering this, today I sat down & contemplated my 33rd year of life.. What do I want to accomplish this year? Where do I want to be in 1 years time from now.. Do I want to improve things, are there things I need to change or are there things that need to be eliminated from my life?

This year I would like to focus on reducing the stress in my life.. I feel that stress is making me feel ten times older and it's something I need to address. There were a few hurdles in the past year that I jumped & although I stumbled from time to time I was thankfully able to land on my feet in the end. Setting regular routines for the Children, getting Miss 11's ADHD better managed and working on being more organised overall will help I am sure.

Eliminating debt.. Due to some poor judgement calls I made in my early twenties I had some personal debt that followed me about for quite some time. I found out the other day that my credit rating resets itself in March this year, so im rather pleased about that! :) This year it is my goal to start putting aside some savings.

 

I would like to start up a hobby or a sport.. I dont really have any hobbies or sports under my belt as I stopped playing sport back in year 11, however, last year I took my son to Tae Kwon Do and really enjoyed it. Perhaps we could start up again when the term starts and take it from there. I did martial arts for 9 years when I was younger so it was something I felt comfortable with.  Other than that, walking and swimming are going to be high on my agenda this year too!

 

Catching up with friends and or making friends would be nice.. I dont really have a great social life as my Husband is my best friend & my family are my friends LOL.  The only friends I do have I rarely see, so I would like to forge some friendships based on common interests or even with fellow Mum's that 'get me' this year.  I plan on branching out to a playgroup now that Mr 1 is a little older so perhaps I will meet some like minded people there (although it's scary to think there may be people like me in the world out there somewhere! LOL)

 

Aside from that, I dont see any babies in my future this year although I have been thinking more and more about 'finishing' our family with one more addition and getting increasingly cluckier as Mr 1 gets older, however, the other night I decided  to wait until next year (and then i'll see how I feel about baby #3/ child #6)  Increasing my health, finishing off the reno's to our home, sorting out some of the kids issues, running after a very active toddler and spending some time with my boys will keep me well and truly occupied enough this year I feel.. and then some! 

 

So Happy Belated Birthday to Me, See you at 33!