The House Is Quiet Again..

 

 

After having a house full of noise and people for the past 14 weeks, the house is now feeling rather quiet as Tyler, Hayley & Nicholas join their Mum for term 2 and the June/July holidays. After having them at home for so long this time, it will be odd not having them round for the next 12 weeks (aside from every other weekend). After a turbulent term of Miss 11 entering adolescence & hitting the puberty blues BIG TIME and a sibling rivalry battle between herself & Mr 9 over a school performance audition, the ceasefire is probably a much needed break to gather our frazzled nerves & regroup for next term. It is also a change of pace for all of us and it is during these 'breaks' that I get to spend some quality time with my boys on a different level & get jobs done around the house that seem impossible when 7 occupy the home!

During this time when the kids are away, we take on more of the 'fun parent' role & spend the three nights we get with the kids differently than when they are home for the term ~ Friday night is movie night, Saturday is spent at home 're-connecting' & chilling out with their toys/rooms and or friends and Sunday is 'family day' where we do something as a family. Usually part of the weekend is chaotic as the kids are settling in from a different routine & Mr 8 & 1 readjust to having others back home to share/interact with, but usually they are happy to be 'home' & the others are happy to have them home.

We try to lay down a few rules during the term such as 1. No homework or assignments after Friday afternoon (I also ensure they don't take homework with them to complete at their Mums on our term) I find it just takes away precious interaction time & can (usually) be completed during other times of the week. 2. No friends/playdates/sleepovers Sunday, this is family day. On the term the children are home, this is fine (we've seen them all week) but when you only get to see them once a fortnight, it takes away too much time and 3.Our normal rules apply even if it's just for the weekend (this one is often forgotten!) 

 

Im sure things will continue to change as they grow older but to me family is important and we'd like to encourage them even as they grow into their teens that it is important to still call this place home. Iv seen far too many other kids as they grow stop visiting their 'other' parent and it's kind of sad, because in a few years time when they are an adult, they will have their own agendas and be off amongst the world.  They are only small for so long, so you have to make the most of now. 

Fridays are my worst day...

 

Most people say that they hate Mondays, well it's official I'm a crazy person.. because I hate Fridays & I have for the past 6 years.. It's a hard one to explain and I really don't know if anyone will understand my reasoning but here goes...

 

Fridays are an emotionally charged day for me as they are our swap over day.. And today is the first swap over day for 2013 after having the kids altogether for a whole month! So I'm probably feeling it more so today than ever.  So every 2nd Friday this term my Step kids go back to their Mums for the weekend and Mr 7 goes off to his Dad's for the weekend every 2nd weekend all year round. 

 

You go from having a household of 5 kid's to having only 1 child at home.. So to say it's a bit of a downer is an understatement.  I know they are off having fun, that part i'm okay with, it's just that radical change of environment that really throws me out.   I was a lot worse at it before Mr 1 came along because the weekend's go alot faster now I have another little person to keep me busy, but I still notice that Thursday night and Friday are off days for me.

 

And of course your mind always wonders what their up to, are they being safe, are they having fun are they feeling okay etc.  Some people used to say Hubby and I should be having a ball on our kid free weekends, but whilst the kids aren't here physically, it's not really a kid free weekend after all. Now we have Mr 1 there are no such thing as 'kid free weekends' but thats ok, who needs a life anyways.. LOL. 

 

Then on the flip side the opposite Friday we have a  houseful of kidlets in residence and the term when my Step kids are at their Mums during the school week and return home on the Friday, Friday is chaos day.. fighting, settling in, adjusting, lots of noise and lots of crazy as they adjust to being in our home again.  A few years ago, I used to stop into the video shop on the way home from school on a Friday afternoon to hire some movies and buy a big bottle of Coke to get me through & the guy on the counter would always look knowingly at me and say 'Stepkids home?' LOL  -- that and I'm sure he could hear them 3 blocks away LOL. 

 

But you get used to the noise, you get used to the crazy and you get used to the busyness that is five kids in a blended household, its just the coming and going part that is the hard part for me and I'm sure the kids.. Their lives change frequently with different rules etc.  I often look upon large families whose children are all biologically theirs and think 'geez I wonder what that is like?'  but obviously I'll never know.  When the routine settles in again for the year I do breathe a sigh of relief because its also a lot of adjusting for a parent.. after all when you become a parent you don't imagine having to spend time away from your kids regularly... It's not something you think of from the outset..

 

With my Husband's children we used to have 70/30 custody of the kids in our favour, then week on/week off when Mr 9 was in prep and now we still have 50/50 shared care but we've adjusted it to term on/term off simply so these comings and goings don't happen as frequently.  When it was week on/week off, I swear none of us knew if we were Arthur or Martha!  So whilst lengthening the time they spend in one house has its advantages while they are home, it also sucks when they are away as it can be quite a while between visits.  During the away time Mr 7 and Mr 1 adjust to a whole different way of life, then Mr 12, Miss 11 and Mr 9 come home and everything changes again.. it's like living in a roller coaster at times.

 

So this weekend it will be very quiet and odd (Except for Mr 1 who can at times Party with the best of them!) But come Monday the house will be full of laughter, playing, fighting, tantrums and lots of Mummy cuddles.  So Friday's, bloody Friday's... give me Monday any day of the week. :)